I have a theory on why Mormons seem “nice” but unnerving.
Mormons can be good people with an open generosity that is welcoming, but many visitors to Utah find it “nice” but want to get out fast.
I think Mormon “nice” is like Southern “gentility.” One theory says that the Southern obsession on politeness and manners developed as a psychological counterbalance to the bloody cruelty of the slavery on which their society was built.
Mormon society can be cruel. It is supportive and embracing of its members… as long as their thoughts, feelings, and actions conform to standards. If one slips – shaming, shunning, and excommunication await. So you better keep that happy face on! Always!
The result of this social training is people who have stiff “nice” personas without the effervescent bubbling of more spontaneous personalities. Two recent examples: Mitt Romney and David Archuleta (from American Idol.) Both are charismatic while being widely described as artificial and robotic. It is hard to be authentic when the society you grow up in has such severe consequences for mistakes.
